They won’t let me play. That’s what would constantly run through my mind. Here I was a musician who had practiced daily in the night and through my weekends. I stayed after church and jammed a while with the other musicians. I had taken the time to listen to the latest music and learn the chords for the next choir song. It was my aim to improve and to sound better. Despite these facts people would always seem to have something to say about the way I was playing. Don’t get me wrong, I welcome constructive criticism and advice, but I’m careful who I receive it from. One thing I have learned since is that everyone that has something to say, is not saying it because they are concerned and looking out for you. Many people envy the gift and talents and would like nothing more but to see you fall flat on your face. I had to learn that through experience, but believe me I did learn it. It would come from a minister who was used to a certain type of musicians or a particular one for that matter. They compared everything and everyone to the other musician’s style. Then there were the ones who would just front you because they were out amongst other people. They would speak to you as if you were not cutting it but only while others were around. It was amazing that many of these people, were not musicians themselves and most had no real musical abilities what so ever. I had laity and bench members trying to send signals and or make comments aloud to me, trying to get me to go this and that way in my playing. Some would shout out songs they wished to hear while others stuck to the old favorite of moaning and groaning to get me to tune up to a preacher as he began to wind up on his sermon. They were in essence saying, alright now start playing you puppet. That’s obviously what they thought of me because that was the way they acted. Some would even remark negatively if their requests were not honored.
